How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
Randomize
