i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
Randomize
