Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
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