handjob tips. give me some.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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