Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
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