and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Randomize
