all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
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