...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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