I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
