"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
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