my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
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