I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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