Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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