had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Randomize
