im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
Randomize
