Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
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