he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
Randomize
