you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
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Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
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I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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