I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
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