i either got mauled last night by a velociraptor or an angry lipstick lesbian. could have been both
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
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