I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
They are going to name an STD after you.
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
Randomize
