What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
Randomize
