we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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