If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
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