I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
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