dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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