My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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