Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
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