How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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