I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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