I can't watch pbs sober anymore
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Randomize
