my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
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