It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
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