How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
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