My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
I just found a bag of teeth...
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
I stole a fireplace last night.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
Randomize
