Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
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