no. you can't hotbox the world.
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
Current status: Finding an unwrapped portion of Subway sandwich in my purse at the pharmacy counter & picking pieces of tomato off my wallet while the pharmacist watches disdainfully.
Did you offer her some?
If only. Current status: Not that clever.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
