were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
Randomize