it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
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