entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
Randomize
