Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Randomize
