Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
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