He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Randomize
