I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
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