somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
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