Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
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