Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Randomize
