so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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