I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
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