what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Randomize
