My entire life is one complicated drinking game
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize