don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
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