we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Randomize
