what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
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