Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
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i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
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I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
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