Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
you are never too drunk for berry picking
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Randomize
