my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
