Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
Randomize
