Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
So here I am, sexting at work.
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