dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Randomize
