yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
Randomize
