You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
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