Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
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