Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
What drink are we having for lunch?
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Randomize
