I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
i think my cat just said my name.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
my penis made a compromise with my morals
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
