people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
Randomize
