yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
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So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
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merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
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